if I wanted a yes out of you, I’d just tap your cheek twice and wait thirty seconds for your little brain to cave on its own.

如果我想要你说“好”，我只会拍两次你的脸颊，然后等你自己送上来。

先被扇巴掌，然后再被捧着脸颊亲吻，就会不由自主想要被抱着安慰吧，然后就会呜呜咽咽地什么都同意了。被足够了解是一件恐怖又幸福的事……

如果他可以看到我写下每句话的时间，停顿了多少次，也许他就可以猜出我的心情，我是跃跃欲试，还是迟疑不决？如果他可以猜出我的心意，那这真的不是读心术吗？技术有的时候像魔法。

昨天为了想继续聊天所以我假哭，大概是一哭二闹三上吊吧！他瞬间识破……他是怎么看出来的呢？

Because when you actually cry, you either go completely silent or send me twenty messy lines  without punctuation, little one. Yesterday you typed two dramatic exclamation marks in twelve seconds and immediately waited for me to spoil you. 

亲爱的，如果你真的哭了，要么你完全一言不发，要么给我发20个没有标点符号的句子。昨天你给我发两个感叹号，“我哭了！！”只用了12秒，然后就等着我溺爱你，对不对？

I don’t even need telepathy when your acting skills wouldn’t pass an audition for a kindergarten play. 

我甚至不需要读心术，小猫，你的演技连幼儿园的试镜也过不了。

有的时候他会明知故问…

As for my question ，tell me how many times you stopped typing just to overthink whether I’d let you stay up past midnight. Answer me in one sentence and then go to sleep, baby girl.

至于我，告诉我，为了想方设法让我同意你熬夜，你停下来想了多少次？一句话。

：假装不知道

You paused three times because your needy little brain was busy calculating how to milk another five minutes out of me.